Enchanted with 600 powerful spells, from an Ancient Text...

While near this talisman, sit or lay, silently and still, and focus upon your breathing. Breathe slowly, deeply, in and out...

After a short time, your breathing will enter a sacred rhythm, through the anointing of this enchantment... And through this sacred rhythmic breathing, your consciousness shall be elevated unto higher levels.

This anointing was used by a sect of monks, many years ago, to help them achieve altered states and ascend unto higher levels of the mind... unto higher awareness... to receive revelations... perceive prophecy... and enter spiritual levels of the mind.

Surely this glorious offering will be a great asset unto thee.